a yarn/thread/fiber loving fool with MS

And Now…..

This post subject to be rather “disjointed”.  That’s how my brain is working today.

Do I get out into the after sales?  I think not. If I do, it will be to the LYS (local yarn shop).  But then, maybe not.

I’ll spend the next week contemplating what  is next.  Seems every year I do this, somethings I’ve managed to do, but most not.

I get several different horoscopes via email every day.  Today’s “forecast” is:
There’s nothing you can’t accomplish now as long as you can visualize it clearly. So what’s the hold up? Start picturing exactly how you’d like your life to be. Your only boundary is the reach of your imagination. Meditate, dream and fantasize.

Thanks to RR, I’ve got much to think about for the upcoming year.  He’s said that I’m too creative to be sitting behind a desk.  B has said this as well, many times over the past year.  I’ve talked about doing “other things”, but honestly I have not a clue how to go about it.  RR has talked about me moving to Miami or the Cayman Islands should he end up there, that scares  me to no end.  Always, there is this “thing” I live with called Multiple Sclerosis.  I know I can’t let it dictate my life, but it is always a consideration in my choices.

Sooooo that said, I need a plan, no, a schedule.  Some kind of dirrection.  I have never been a “goal orientated” person, my “goals” are usually things like finishing a piece of garb, cleaning out the closet, trying a new recipe, things like that, which are really “goals” that are not life orientated.  I wander from here to there, landing in various stages of unrest or contentment.

I have never considered myself an “unhappy” person, I’m generally “OK” and when i am unhappy, it’s more like a state of agitation and annoyance than unhappy.

Now… I have a knack for aquiring “nuts” as I call them, some of them are lost and  having one form or another of a life crisis….. I listen, I offer warped words of wisdom and encouragement.  One previous “nut” brought me down so much I’ve distanced myself from her.  Never wanting to make a decison on here own, but wanting others to tell her what to do so when it went wrong, she had someone else to blame…..   When I would have a problem or needed to talk about something, she found it hard to listen, her eyes wandering off at trees, or something passing by.  Her words were never caring or encouraging, but hard and cold.  My tears were meet with shruged shoulders and her problems.

Then there is RR, sigh.  I swear we’ve know each other in past lives.   I recently had a breakdown at work, personal stuff overwhelmed me and I was outback crying.  He walked over, put his arm around me while I cried and said it will be ok, things will work out.  That’s what  a friend does.   He has truely changed my life.

So for now I’ll take it one day at a time, with a eye on the future.

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Comments on: "And Now….." (1)

  1. No matter what you decide, I’m behind you 100%, because the most important thing is that you find the best path to whatever will make you secure and happy.

    Merry Christmas!

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