a yarn/thread/fiber loving fool with MS

Archive for the ‘Other stuff’ Category

The cloud is showing it’s underbelly

That be the “silver lining”.  Just trying to be clever….

Sooooooo, my Sis actually brought me a b-day cake, some flowers and $20.  ACK!!!!  Much appreciated, but I no can have the cake…not good for reason I was in hospital…..oh well, thought that counts.

AND THEN AND THEN……. I got a call from the local Social Security office…..they have approved me for  “presumptive disability”…. not full disability yet, but it means I can get SSI….WHOOT!  A lady in a Facebook group for MSer’s said:

Presumptive means having a reasonable basis for belief or acceptance; so it sounds to me that the State believes you have a good/strong case.”

YA!YA!

Now then,  my BFF R.R. went and bought himself a BMW sports car, convertible….SIGH. Don’t know what I’m going to do with that boy.  But since it’s an automatic and I can drive it when I go back to DC…. well now.  I called RR right after I got the call from SS.  He was glad and wanted to know if I was coming back to DC next week…..OH I WISH~~~THE TEMPTATION IN GREAT~~~  His Birthday is Monday and Friday is his promotion ceremony to Lieutenant Colonel.   I so want to go, maybe just for 2 weeks….I know I need to stay put in Bama till this disability determination is taken care of.

Ok so……. now I can go back on the lexapro, I can afford the co-pay OR MEDICAID CAN PAY FOR IT!!!

Better living through chemistry…

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Hello…Hello…I am still here…

Yea, yea, I’m here, been on one hell of a ride since my last post, another surgery, and a month in the hospital, 2 weeks of that in rehab trying to walk and learn how to “re-do” daily activities when the body does not do what the brain says do….

Surgery…. So sometime in May I just started feeling worse, listless, not eating, and sleeping alot.  I figured it was the MS.  WRONG, so wrong.  Went to the doc end of May, she admitted me to the hospital.  My white count was extremely high and some other blood work was wonky and I had not had a bowl movement in over a week, I was dehydrated because I could not keep anything down, let’s just say I was messed up.  The docs I saw in the hospital spent a damn WEEK trying to figure out what to do… they called in Dr. Duffy, the one who did my kidney surgery, because when you have only 1 kidney it presents it’s own set of problems with meds and die’s for MRI’s and CAT scans… Okay, so they find a “mass/cyst” blocking my intestines…..of course the C word comes up…they do a needle biopsy and it shows just infection.  It’s also starting to really really hurt in the area of the cyst.  But here’s the catch, mass is also near my right ovary, so they call in OBGYN docs, geeze.  Soooooo I was transferred to another hosptial 60 miles away because no one in this damn town deals with “ovarian cancer”.  EVEN THOUGH THE DAMN BIOPSY SHOWED NO CANCER.  I was so damn drugged from pain meds and whatever the hell else they had in that IV I really had little to say about it…and I just wanted the pain to go away….

I meet with the docs their and they felt a hysterectomy was in order.  Shit a MAJOR surgery.  Cut Cut Cut.

I was also experiencing some major edema, so bad I could not put on normal shoes.  While in the hospital it got worse.

Okay, so after surgery I could not even walk the edema was so bad, I could not lift my arms above shoulder height, the edema was making my limbs so heavy I could not operate them.  So between that and the Multiple Sclerosis I was totally screwed up.  So off to two weeks in rehab working with physical therapist learning how to adapt to life with my new limitations.

I took early retirement, disability retirement, from my job because there was no way in hell I could go back to work.   Now I’m just waiting on social security disability, hopefully I will get it because my job retirement is only $500 a month……

When I came home from the hosp., I was using a walker, could not stand up from a sitting position and various other things.  I’ve managed to work up to using a cane and can actually stand up on my own, both major accomplishments.  So now I spend my days watching TV and playing  with yarn and thread, you know, knitting and tatting.  I do my best not to go crazy, not being able to drive yet  the walls close in on ya.

Okay, so I’m back.  Will post more often  Back to my tatting.  Here are a few of my tatted button snowflakes.

It hurts when I sneeze, cough, laugh and so on and on and on

You know you pee as much with one kidney as you do with 2 LOL.

I received my nostepinne I won!  And new yarn to boot.  My Tuesday night knitting / yarn buddies got me a lovely Yarn Bouquet from Zen Yarn in “midnight plum”, it’s beautiful.  Photo can been see to the right via flickr feed..

I’ve managed to knit myself a beret and failed to photo it when I had camera out, will do later.

Have not knitted on what I planed to, can’t really follow a charted lace pattern on pain meds, I’m just saying…..

Later folks

Sideways

I’ve not slept well this week.  My nerves are “crawling” and my muscles are objecting.  So I’ve stayed home today.  I’ve ONLY got 45 days of sick leave built up.

There’s a new link on the right.  Please visit my other “blog” clicky, clicky, clicky.

So, NOW IT’S VEGAS

But before that it was San Diego, then Vegas  then med school in the Caribbean , and now back to Vegas.  This is some kind of roller coaster ride RR is on.    His “whatever it’s  called” course for the Army will now happen in Feb of 10, not Aug 09.  This means an entire YEAR of  “what the fuck do I do with myself?” .  I’m just listening and offering warped advice.  He knows what I think.

As for me, I’m floating along as best I can.   I am even taking FRIDAY OFF WORK.   A Lynn and RR adventure may be involved, but too soon to say so until we are ACTUALLY ON THE ROAD TO SAID ADVENTURE.

At least the barrage of hormones has passed and I’m on more even ground, rocky, but hey, what’s life without rocks, no boulders in my case.

Ok, off to Barnes and Nobles for Tuesday stitch N bitch.

And what is up with this

It’s almost 1 pm and the temp is 60.  Again, the weather is auditioning for a part in a bad sci-fi weather gone wild movie of the week.

Have talked to RR Twice this morning.  He and A are over.  They’ve talked and A is not ready to commit, RR is and he does not feel he can continue as it is.  I don’t blame him.  Although A claims to care deeply the unwillingness to commit and be exclusive with each other is not something A willing to do… OVER.  RR deserves better than that.

Now starts his journey into what to do…he’s got a job in Miami that he no longer wants.  He does not think he can live there without seeing A.  We’ll talk again when he gets back to the grotto in a few hours, the wound is still fresh, but time for Mama Squirrel to be blunt with the boy.  Couples break up, one does not move to a different town, you suck it up and deal with it what ever way you can.  I’ve done it.  When M and I broke up, my heart was torn from my soul.  8 years later there are still a few resturants I will not go to because there were places we went together.   If I thought I saw him out somewhere, my heart would race, i would break out in sweat, basically a panic attack.  It took me months to get over this feeling, but that was just part of the healing process. M is now married to some kinda skank, ok, not nice.  I’ve run into him, even turned the car around so I could stop and talk with him.  It reassures me that I’m better than the relationship we had.  And honestly seeing him does nothing for me, more like, eeww, LOL.

Anyway, RR has much to think about, much more to consider.   Don’t worry my friend, you’ve got an angel in  your pocket keeping you safe for me.

EDIT ~~~

RR is back at the grotto, he is so upset, and there is nothing I can do or say to make the hurt go away.  we’re chatting/texting and it’s going to be a long night.

RR is trying to sleep now.  I think I made him laugh with some of the things I said.  Might even make him think.

I know I can’t “fix” it, but that does not stop me from trying.  He says he appreciates me more than I know.  It goes both ways

Postcard from HELL

I got one!!

Okay, this goes back to RR and the Cayman Islands.  Yes, a part of hell is in the Cayman Islands.

RR has made it back from the Cayman’s, and a 10 day trip to Brazil.  He starts scuba instructor training tomorrow for a month, then on the new job in Miami.  We’ve have chatted online almost everyday this year, LOL, all 5 days of it and we spoke brefly on the phone while he was waiting on his luggage to  show up.  Hopefully he did not miss his flight to Tampa.  I don’t think it’s really sunk in that he’s not here, not totally anyway.  I think we each came to depend on the other more that we realized.

SIGH….

Now on with it..

EDIT:

So,  he missed his flight to Tampa.  Sooo, he calls me, yea.

He’s booked on one in the morning, but is on standby for any of the ones leaving out tonight.

EDIT 2:

Before RR left, I made him one of my small (slightly less than an inch in length) tatted angels, told him to put her in his wallet, which he did, inside a folded dollar bill, and tucked inside safely.   I told him she was his guardian angel and would keep watch over him for me when he left.  She is.. he got on a tampa bound plane a little bit ago.  And you know what, she was letting me know she was taking care of him… his Iphone was in his pocket, he was pulling it out to put it in what he called “plane mode”, and “there I was, saying “HELLO, are you drunk dialing your phone?”, LOL, no it was “locked” and dialed me all by itself. Yea, his GA did that.  Anyway, he was in the process of boarding and sounded totally exhausted and was getting a bit “giggly”, that’s the exhaustion breaking through.  I told him to try and get a short nap in, yea, that  won’t happen he say’s, we’ll see.

That should be it for the night…. LOL.